I Wonder Why…

All my life I have noticed something, that to this day, I have no explanation for. It is contradictory to how I believe the Universe works but I think it keeps happening (especially to me) so that I understand something and learn the lesson, which obviously hasn’t happened yet. It’s basically how when you are pretty sure or confident of seeing a certain result in any given scenario it almost always goes the other way!!! Every single time I plan everything and not imagine for a second that anything can go wrong, it does. On the other hand if I dread and fear that something will definitely go wrong, it never does. Not just concerning myself but even concerning others.. If i ever expect anything to be or go a certain way without considering another possibility, it never pans out the way I thought it would. This is so much so the case for me that I now have to keep reminding myself to always be a little apprehensive in any situation just to make sure nothing goes wrong. It’s like I can almost use the apprehension to my advantage, on purpose, as a sure fire way to make things work out the way I hope they do.

This makes no sense really… it is not advisable to approach a situation with fear or doubt like that but the expression “Hope for the best, expecting the worst” comes to mind.

There’s another factor to this phenomenon… it only applies if you are very attached to a certain outcome. Maybe that’s the problem, thinking that your happiness depends on something going the way you want it to may be an unhealthy illusion you shouldn’t buy into. Or maybe it’s a good thing to expect the unexpected, maybe that kind of thinking and awareness can even save your life someday…

I know that someday I will figure out why this keeps happening and what I am supposed to learn from it but until then let me know what you think.


~ by Dilruha on July 21, 2008.

4 Responses to “I Wonder Why…”

  1. Well it’s a simple fact of life that Mr. Murphy highlighted. All we can do is try our best to prove him wrong. 🙂 Good Luck!!

  2. Someyimes, I’ve found there’s absolutely nothing to learn from somethings that go wrong… It just happens and you need to just put it behind you.

  3. When you want something bad enough you tend to overlook reality. In doing so your conscious mind shuts out the possibilities of the opposite outcome. Nevertheless your sub-conscious mind that is privy to reality may hint at the fact that things may or may not go the way you plan. Thus the alternative and the hope. Which leaves a probability of 50/50. Hence whatever the outcome you have an explanation.

    Hope I made sense. It’s hard to get this shit out of my head…

  4. Yea… come to think of it, it is something worth thinking more deeply about.

    I feel that depending on the issue, wanting something really bad and the subconscious reason for wanting it and then the karma of, is it meant to be yours comes into play. And again depending on the issue at hand, there is always the explanation of proper planning, positive thinking & exicution etc… but thru personal experiences thus far in my life, I have no doubt that everything that unfolds no matter how big or small is based on the karma we’ve created and creating every minute, every hour & everyday.

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