Hurt people, hurt people…

What I regret most in my life so far is the hurt I’ve caused other people. I don’t think I’ve hurt anyone intentionally but I am guilty of being very careless at times. Sometimes being so self absorbed and careless makes you just as guilty as if you had meant to hurt someone intentionally. Its not like I haven’t been hurt myself… one would think someone who carries memories of such pain would know better than to hurt others in turn but it’s quite the contrary. As I once read somewhere… “Hurt people, hurt people!”. It maybe something that happens subconsciously… I don’t know.

In my endless search to find as much love and whatever else I thought I needed from others to heal my own wounds, I seem to have only created more pain along the way. Sometimes I’ve wished I was strong enough to have put my needs aside so I could have loved, taken care of and helped heal someone who needed it more than I. It’s not easy to do that when you have issues of your own that mess with your mind and your judgment. I now know that nobody can help anyone before helping themselves, also, I’ve learned that looking to someone else to give you what you think you need, is sadly pointless and utterly futile. Everything you need is within you… anything else is just a temporary fix that wears off and leaves you wanting more. Only you can love yourself, forgive yourself, take care of yourself, be good to yourself…that’s when the healing starts, then and only then can you do the same for others. Nobody is whole until they fix themselves and there isn’t anyone who doesn’t need some kind of fixing. I’ve come to realise that everyone owes it to themselves and to the rest of the world to come face to face with their issues, insecurities, past hurts etc. You cause such unnecessary pain and suffering to yourself and others when you just carry on living with anger that you hold on to, sadness that eats away at you, pain that damages you, insecurities that degrade you and hurt that tortures you…

There’s nothing pathetic about admitting your own faults and shortcomings or your issues and insecurities… Its only the beginning of a better life. There’s no shame in admitting to yourself that you have issues that need to be taken care of before moving forward in life. In fact most people’s issues stem from their childhood… how can you hold yourself accountable for what may have affected you as a child? No, there’s no shame in it at all, it’s something we all have in common. Everybody knows, even if they don’t care to admit it, that no matter how old we get, inside we are merely the child that we once were. It’s almost like who we really are IS that child… just with countless layers that we’ve developed for defense over the years and many masks to cover up any outward signs of weakness, innocence and vulnerability. When you start looking beneath a person’s hurtful behaviour, you see the child who’s been hurt, who feels threatened, who reacts the way he is programmed to… can you not relate to him? How can you possibly hold a grudge?

The only way to cure any pain, I believe, is through love. You can heal yourself and heal others with love. Love is to accept, love is to try and understand, love is to be patient and kind, love is to forgive… yourself and others.

If I sound like I’m preaching please note that I am merely preaching to myself. This is where I write to sort out and analyze my own thoughts… It’s my therapy if you will.

“For my unkindness, for my insensitivity, for my lack of understanding and acceptance, for my failure to love selflessly and recognize your pain, for my hurtful words and anything else you might hold against me – I’m Truly Sorry… this is my heartfelt apology, one hurt person to another.”


~ by Dilruha on February 18, 2009.

6 Responses to “Hurt people, hurt people…”

  1. Brilliant post…the only problem is that now I’m doubting a decision I had made :S…I hope you find a way to where you want to be:)

  2. thats really nice!

  3. awesome post! something I really needed to read! thanks!

  4. Great post made me think too…

  5. Good post! It took me a loong and painful journey before I arrived at the same conclusion.
    Uncanny, but I was thinking of writing a very similar post before I came across this!

  6. Thank you so much, it almost feels like I could have written it myself. So far to go and someday I’ll get there.

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